Regrets of the Dying

4 03 2014

I was recently reading a book by Best-Selling Author Chris Brady titled PAiLS: Twenty Years from Now, What Will You Wish PAiLS Cover (2) (130x200)You Had Done Today? It is an amazing read with many soul searching questions for everyone to ask themselves as they go through life wondering, why am I here?

From the beginning you are attracted to this amazing read. On the first page of the introduction, Brady references a woman who worked with the dying for many years and authored an article sharing “The Top Five Regrets of the Dying”. I took a look and honestly questioned myself on these five regrets. It led me to write a message to a friend that I respect very much, in hopes of refreshing what was once an awesome relationship.

I hope the following five regrets inspire you to Live The Life You Have Always Wanted as well.

Steve Leurquin

Top Five Regrets of the Dying:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

5. I wish I had let myself be happier.





Power of Personality

18 11 2012

Recently I read a post from Author and community leader of thousands Tim Marks. The two things I respect about Tim Marks is his perspective he brings from his own life and his humility in knowing that he can learn something from anybody. Enjoy His perspective on a great book that has helped many in all 8f’s of their lives. Steve Leurquin

 

Four Personality Temperaments

Published October 12, 2012 | By Tim Marks

As we each build our leadership communities, one thing that quickly becomes obvious is that people are unique!  Everyone has their own history, their own list of accomplishments, their own family situation, their favorite sport, favorite food, and their own personality style.  Despite all of the differences, when you start spending a lot of time with a lot of people over the years, you start to see some patterns in behavior emerge.  For example, you see that certain people are shy, and certain people are really confident.  Some people really love details and tasks, and some people just love to be around friends.  With practice, you can start to recognize the general patterns in people’s personalities, it can help you understand them a little better and relate to them more successfully.

 

Recognizing the different personality styles is nothing new.  People have been studying other people for as long as people have been around!  For example, a very famous Greek Philosopher named Hippocrates (after whom the Hippocratic Oath for medical practitioners is named) believed that in order to be healthy, your body needed equal amounts of four specific liquids. He called these liquids “humors” and they listed them as black bile, yellow bile, phlegm (“flem”), and blood. If you got sick, Hippocrates and his students thought it was because you had too much of one of these humors. So, they tried to cure you by removing some of those fluids! (Not always successfully, mind you, and not a very wise decision to begin with.  Just imagine the conversation!  “Hey Pythagoras, you still sick?  Well, let’s drain off a few quarts of that yucky blood stuff you’ve got inside and see if that doesn’t put some spring in yer step!”)

Fast forward a few thousand years and we humans are still trying to figure out ourselves and the people around us!  Luckily, some very smart people have done a lot of the heavy lifting for us.  A wonderful author, Florence Littauer, has written a great book to help us understand the four personality types.  That book is Personality Plus, available through the LIFE website, and I really recommend you get a copy and start to master your understanding of the four personalities!   Why take the time to learn more about our personality style, as well as the people around us?  Because by better understanding ourselves, we know who we really are and why we react the way we do in certain situations.  We can recognize our strengths and amplify them, and we can be aware of our weakness and manage them more effectively.  When I got started in community building, my upline leaders Orrin Woodward and Chris Brady both took me aside and gently suggested that I learn more about the Choleric personality and study some people skills books, because my demanding choleric nature was a definite weakness for me!  So, let’s dive into our four personality styles: Melancholy, Phlegmatic, Sanguine, and Choleric!  (And yes, Melancholy’s, I know that isn’t in alphabetical order… it’s not the end of the world!)

Sanguine

This is the outgoing, people-oriented social-type. Sanguines are also known as the “Popular” type. They enjoy fun, socializing, chatting, telling stories – and are fond of promising the world, because that’s the friendly thing to do. A Sanguine gets on well with people and can get others excited about issues, but cannot always be relied upon to get things done. They love interacting with others and play the role of the entertainer or center of attention in group interactions. They have a tendency to over-promise and under-deliver.   A Sanguine would benefit from LISTENING more and letting other people tell stories… and not trying to upstage them!  As well, if you are a Sanguine and don’t know the correct answer, DON’T make up the numbers… the Melancholy’s will spot you doing it and you’ll lose their respect!  Some famous examples are Bill Clinton, Robin Williams, Kelly Ripa and Richard Simmons.

Melancholy

This is the reserved, task-oriented cautious type. Melancholies are also known as the “Perfect” type.  Their typical behavior involves thinking, assessing, making lists, evaluating the positives and negatives, and general analysis of facts. They love maps, charts and graphs. They are usually the most intelligent of the four types; however they tend to dwell on details. A Melancholy is a planner, making sure things happen, although sometimes they can paralyze themselves with over-analysis. Lists and “doing things the right way” are characteristics of this personality type.  Melancholy’s need to loosen up and let their hair down.  No one is perfect, even if a Melancholoy tries to be.  Don’t be so hard on yourself when you make a mistake… you are probably your own toughest critic.  Probably no one else noticed, so you don’t need to point out your error.  Remember that Cholerics and Sanguines are bored to tears with details, even if you find the details interesting.  When presenting to them, try to summarize the key points and move on.  Some famous examples are Hillary Clinton, Bill Gates, and Beethoven.

Phlegmatic

This is the reserved and people-oriented type. They are easy going, laid back, nonchalant, unexcitable and relaxed.  Desiring a quiet and peaceful environment above all else. They tend not to actively upset people, but their indifference may frustrate people. They try not to make decisions, and generally go for the status quo. They are good as mediators because they don’t usually have many enemies. Phlegmatics are also known as the “Peaceful” type; they tend to want everyone to get along and not rock the boat.  They also have a “dry” and quick sense of humor. Phlegmatic leaders may not move as quickly as real Cholerics, but they can be just as—or even more—effective.  They may not work harder, but they just may work smarter!  If you are a Phlegmatic, you don’t have to say “yes” to every request… sometimes other people will take advantage of you if you don’t set up some boundaries and say “no” once in a while.  Some famous examples are Calvin Coolidge, Tim Duncan, and Keanu Reeves (Not his Matrix action-hero character, mind you… His Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure surfer character.)

 

Choleric

I’ve put Cholerics last so that they can practice being patient and recognize that they aren’t always the alpha male in the room!  :)  This is the outgoing and task-oriented style.  Choleric are dominant, strong, decisive, stubborn and sometimes even arrogant.  Cholerics are also known as the “POWEFUL” type.  They tend to be good leaders because they are driven to get things done.  Unfortunately, they might offend some people along the way by not taking their feelings into account and stepping on some toes.  We joke that they are often wrong but never in doubt!  Cholerics often have the answers; they know what to do; they can make quick decisions; they bail others out in a jam—but they can struggle with being popular because their assurance and assertiveness make others feel insecure, and their ability to lead can easily make them appear bossy. Powerful Choleric should try to soften their approach with people while maintaining their amazing work ethic and results so that others will celebrate the Cholerics and not be offended by them.  As Orrin Woodward’s amazing wife Laurie Woodward has said, “The #1 job of Cholerics is to love your people.”  Some famous examples are Donald Trump, General Patton and Bill O’Reilly.

So we’ve briefly touched on each of the four personalities, but it gives you a good introduction to them.  It’s my hope this blog inspires you to devour Personality Plus.  One thing to always remember: no personality style is better than the other.  Each has strengths and weaknesses.  Each style is complemented by someone else…. Which is why working as part of a team can be so powerful!  If you haven’t done so, take the time to read this book and learn about these styles.  If you’ve read the book once, read it again and master it!  You’ll discover the people around you are amazing!





There Is No Tomorrow

28 09 2012

A few years ago my daughter asked me if I could build her a tree house. “At this time I can not because we are trying to sell our house and I wouldn’t want to build something and then have to leave it”, was the reason I told her. The next year my excuse was that I didn’t have the time because we were running pretty hard for some goals. The next year came and my reasoning switched again to not having a proper tree to put up a good treehouse. My daughter patiently waited.

Then one night I sat up in bed almost in a cold sweat realizing my daughter is not getting any younger. She is 10 years old. In three years she most likely will not care about having a treehouse and in eight years she will be out on her own. The realization hit me because I didn’t want to look back on my time with her and realize I missed out on a father-daughter moment of being the hero to her. This is something her and I can do together and she will have a lifetime memory of what her daddy and her did together back when she was ten and who knows, maybe her kids will someday be able to play in it.

I’m proud to say that we have begun the process of building the treehouse and we are having so much fun doing it together as a family.

You know the real reason why I never started building the tree house? …….I’m not very handy and I had no idea how to start. I was afraid to do something I had never done before and the fear kept me from taking the first step. I wonder how many people in life get to their deathbeds filled with regret because of all the things they never accomplished on account of fear of not knowing how to start?

What goal in your life are you not taking the first step toward because you’re afraid to start. Well guys, I know that if I had never built my daughter a tree house I would have looked back a few years from know with regret knowing I had missed a great parent-child opportunity. Take the first step, you won’t regret it!

I love this clip from Rocky III as a message of don’t put off until tomorrow what you know you want to start today. Be advised, there is some minor swearing around minute 3:50, but the message of “There is not tomorrow!” is one we all need to hear.

Enjoy, Steve Leurquin





Guys, Sorry For Posting This But….

4 06 2012

The other day I heard a conversation that surprised me a bit to say the least. There were three ladies having a conversation when the husband of one called on the cell phone. He had left the location where she was and he was calling to apologize for accidentally taking her car keys with him when he left and that he would be bringing them back as soon as he could.

Sounds harmless enough. What surprised me was the other two ladies response to the husbands call. They were absolutely floored that her husband had just apologized! They were saying things like, “I can’t believe I just heard that come from a man’s mouth” and “My husband never apologizes to me”.

This encounter led met to believe guys, how much smoother things would run on the homefront if we just learned the lost art of apologizing. LIFE-Team Leadership had a book that came down through their leadership development system a couple years ago by Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas titled The Five Langauges of Apology. I know for a fact the gentleman in the above story has read this book surely garnishing him many brownie points in the relationship.

The authors explain that we each have a language of apology we need to hear before we truly forgive the other person. The easy part is knowing them. The hard part is knowing what other people’s apology language and even harder is saying it.

The Five Languages of Apology are:

1. Expressing Regret – “I am sorry.”

2. Accepting Responsibility – “I was wrong.”

3. Making Restitution – “What can I do to make it right.”

4. Genuinely Repenting – I’ll try not to do it again.”

5. Requesting Forgiveness – “Will you please forgive me.”

Now guys, before you send me messages in outrage that I would make this information known I want you to think of benefits of reading and implementing this one area into your lives. I’m a man so I’m posting this to the men who read my blog, but I imagine if a wife saw her husband reading this you not only could knock her over with a feather, but she just might pick it up as well!

Enjoy, Steve Leurquin





Take A Stand

24 05 2012

As you read a history book do you ever see the names and faces of people and wonder what they attributes they possessed that helped their names to be separated from the rest? We hear names like Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther Kind Jr., Mother Theresa and we think that they were blessed with some kind of special talent that resulted in them becoming so famous. The truth is the only thing every person who is remembered for a lasting (positive) legacy has done is they took a stand.

Rick Hoyt took a stand many years ago that took great courage. Through his decision he has inspired many other families in similar situations to realize how truly blessed they are.

What is Legacy? It’s leaving a place better than you found it by living a model for others to follow. I think if we look close enough, those models are all around us of people who are leaving a lasting legacy by taking a stand doing the right thing because it’s the right thing to do.

Enjoy this video of a father and son who have left a legacy for others to follow.

Steve Leurquin





Raising Girls in LIFE

23 01 2012

Jamie is an awesome mother, wife, and leading lady of a large leadership community. I am so proud of her strength and courage raising two daughters the way God meant her to. The positive difference she is making in this world will last generations.  Enjoy, Steve Leurquin

 

Being a mother with two of my three kids being girls, I know all too well the struggles that girls face as they are growing up. My girls are 9 and 4 so they are not too deep into any drama, but my personal experiences have created a desire to prepare not only my daughters but myself for the struggles they will encounter.

Where does one go for such instruction as to how to successfully raise children? I decided to delve into some books from people who have had the experience and success with raising girls. My mentor, Lisa Hawkins has 3 girls and is well versed in the area of raising girls. By looking at the behavior of her girls, I know she is doing the right things! She has a daughter one year older than my oldest so she can stay one step ahead and guide me. She can also recommend books that have helped her, which limit my trial and error of finding the right books. Through the books that are recommended to me, I have been guided into understanding more what is happening in our culture and what our children are up against.

I must say after reading through some mind opening books, I am even more disgusted and angry at our media who messes with the minds of our beautiful children. With the continued exposure of what the media says is “beautiful”, more and more girls are focused on body image and falling victim to eating disorders. A less than appropriate clothing attire is available to kids, consisting of tight fitting low cut shirts, thong underwear and jeans that are cut low to expose the item worn underneath. Available for our children 7 and up!

Why allow the media to determine the values my children should have? Who are they to impose ideas and thoughts into our families heads that stop any natural thinking to occur? Instead of competing with the media, Steve and I decided our children will not grow up with TV, magazines, or negative “pop” music that would give them the values and beliefs we oppose.

I feel so blessed to be a part of the LIFE community that does not base any opinions on a person by outward appearance, but on the heart of a person. Whatever flaws a person has on the outside can be covered up by the beauty they hold within, but if a person has character flaws, outward beauty can not disguise it. The information available to our family through LIFE has been a tremendous source of education for my children’s development. Not only does it start the thinking process, but the focus is on creating a better you. My children have a strong, growing understanding of themselves and others. I am excited they have a love for learning and know their personal growth in all areas will escalate, assisting them in being a success in life.

A few of the books I read and recommend that focuses on raising girls:

5 Conversations You Must Have With Your Daughter, Vicki Courtney

Raising a Modern Day Princess, Pam Farrel and Doreen Hanna

Bringing Up Girls, Dr. James Dobson

 

Blessings,

Jamie Leurquin





Never Give Up On LIFE Team

17 11 2011

Jamie and I learned a valuable principle from Orrin Woodward early on in our Team Leadership journey that those who stay will be champions!  We knew from the get go that there was something different about this community of people when we started using their leadership material several years ago.  When you look into the lives of the founders of LIFE you see real quickly that what they say and what they do match.  Learning from these great people we learned to never give up, no matter what.

Success principles are success principles and I first learned to never give up from my parents by their example of hard work, but especially during a very trying time in my life from my mother.  The start of my sophomore year of college was a very tough for me for several reasons and I was ready to give in.  My dream was to be the first Leurquin to graduate from college and for a brief period I lost my focus.  Then, in the mail a I received encouragement and love from my mom in the form of a piece of paper that had the frog and the bird similar to the one below, with the hand written words “Love ya” in the corner.

I never forgot that moment and although tattered and worn I still have that piece of paper as a reminder to never stop chasing after my dreams.

I appreciate so much those who are the few brave souls who have the courage to set a goal and I have nothing but respect for those who have the vision and work-ethic to complete it.  If you are someone who is looking for the tools to achieve some new goals I encourage you to check out the LLR subscription on the LIFE website.

When we have purpose we are like the fly in the video below.  Never give up!  Steve Leurquin





Unstoppable LIFE

26 10 2011

Several years ago I became involved with a leadership program called Team founded by Orrin Woodward. In a world that celebrates mediocrity the Team has become a breath of fresh air for so many people who are looking, not for a hand out, but a chance to pursue their goals and dreams.

I love this video on Anthony Robles’ acceptance speech for the Jimmy V Award because it shows the heart of a young man born with obvious limitations who does not make excuses, does not listen to his critics, and with the encouragement from the people closest to him, accepts and expects nothing but his own personal best in pursuit of his dream.  Listen to his words and you will hear a courageous young man who expected it to be hard, but knew it was possible.  Thank you Anthony for showing us what is possible when the spirit is unconquerable.

Enjoy, Steve

Every soul who comes to earth with a leg or two at birth must wrestle his opponents knowing it’s not what is, but what can be that measures worth. Make it hard, just make it possible and through pain, I wont complain. My spirit is unconquerable. Fearless I will face each foe for I know I am capable. I don’t care whats probable, through blood sweat and tears I am unstoppable. -Anthony Robles





They Are Listening!

14 10 2011

I was recently learning leadership skills from an audio recording by best selling author Orrin Woodward and the message was on guarding your inputs of information.  On this Team/Life  recording Woodward is teaching a principle that if someone does not like their current situation in life, it is them and only them who must take the responsibility to make it better.

The other day I was practicing a leadership talk I was going to give to a couple hundred people the following evening.  My audience was my three children.  Completion of my talk led to a standing ovation of 66% of the crowd (my youngest was not impressed!)  My two oldest asked if they could close for me, a role usually done by my wife Jamie who was not there at the time.  My daughter McKenzie got up edifying me and telling her accepting audience how great her daddy is.  I couldn’t help but smile with pride and agree 100%.  Then my son Aidan gets up and with the most enthusiasm I have ever seen come out of him says, “Yeah what she said, and if you want something different in life, you have to do something different!  Now go do it!”

From the mouths of babes.  Imediatley two powerful feelings came over me.  First, I was extremely greatful that a few years ago a leadership development system called Team came into my life that allows me to have the freedom to be home during the day to spend time with my family creating cherished memories.  The second was a nervous-calm. Nervous because I know that my kids are watching and learning from their leader.  I ultimately know that their success in life is from the example I give.  The calm came from knowing that they are listening to the same system of information I am that has helped me grow immensly in the 8Fs of my life.

The founders of LIFE have built a leadership program that has encouraged families to teach timeless principles to thier children that will last generations.  Your children are listening!  What are they learning from your example?

Steve





Blessings

29 08 2011

Jamie is such a great leading lady in Team/LIFE.  Orrin Woodward has created the best leadership development system in the world for anyone to learn from.  Enjoy a post from my wife on what Team has done for her and her family.

There are so many blessings that I have in my life since being involved in the Team Leadership Organization. Some of them were there all along, in the depths of my messed-up thinking, waiting for a change to happen with my perspective so I could be appreciative and consider them a blessing. Receiving the truth in different areas of my life through the Team system did just that and so much more.

My husband, Steve, is a huge blessing in my life. He has not only supported and inspired my growth throughout the years, but is a firm and loving father to our children. His leadership has helped inspire their understanding of the Truth and helped them to strive towards living a value-driven life. Our children’s future has become stronger because of their father’s love and guidance.

My children are an amazing blessing. To have the ability to spend every day with them, I believe, has dramatically changed the direction of their future they were originally faced with while I was working. They not only were having someone else raise them, but the mom my two oldest faced when I picked them up from daycare was not able to give her best to them, since my best was left at work where I spent the last 8 hours.

The friendships I have acquired in the Team Leadership Organization have been nothing I have experienced before. To know there is a group of people who will do whatever it takes to help you gives you an indescribable feeling of security and love, while being able to reciprocate that to others escalates those feelings a million times more. Thank you to all the Team community for your courage and willingness to become a better you and help me become a better me. Any part that is played adds that much more hope and encouragement to all who strive to improve this world.

So many more blessings. . . I could go on and on! I love my life and I love that I am able to bless others with the Team Leadership Organization lead by Orrin Woodward.

Blessings,

Jamie Leurquin








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